try begging

Grace caught the man leaving her. She looked up at him with a confused look in her eyes, which were beginning to show a look of doubt and faint anticipation.

I hate that man. I hate the cruelty he inflicted on me. But if you ask if everything is entirely his fault, Grace can't say no. Everyone involved in the relationship, except for Ellie, the innocent victim, is guilty. Even Grace is no exception.

"It's true that I deceived you and used you."

"No, you were the one who was tricked and used."

His fingertips brushed away her hair, and his warm palms cupped Grace's cheeks. The man made a pained face and caressed her as if comforting her.

"You didn't get involved in your father's work. You had no idea what was going to happen. You were forced to go undercover under me."

Grace felt guilty when he defended her. It was true that she had tried not to go undercover, but she hesitated more for her own safety than for her conscience.

"I thought you lived your whole life as a member of the revolutionary army. I didn't think you were just used like that..."

"... ... ."

"I shouldn't have sent you away that day. Do you know how many times I resisted the urge to jump out of the car and drag you to me when you were crying on the way to the train station? I should have just given in and brought you back. I didn't know you would have heard such a shocking story."

Shocking story? Grace suddenly came to her senses. She pushed away the man who was hugging her and saying sorry and asked.

"Did you see your mother's diary?"

The moment the man answered with his eyes, Grace became lost in thought and grabbed him by the collar.

"Why are you looking at that!"

The man examined her private parts and her mother's private parts one by one. As the man held her trembling hand in humiliation and tried to comfort her, Grace shook him off and barely managed to swear.

"You must be happy. Your enemy lived such a miserable life and died."

"No, not at all."

He made a sick face again. How dare you.

"Who are you to pity my mother!"

Whether the man felt joy or sorrow for his mother and her suffering, it was equally humiliating to Grace.

"Then what emotion should I feel?"

Don't ask me. Grace buried her face in her hands and moaned. Her head was pounding.

"Your mother is the perpetrator because she participated in killing my father. On the other hand, she is also a victim who was used like you. So I know that whatever feelings you have toward your mother are both right and wrong. So what do you want me to do?"

The moment she heard those words filled with despair, Grace realized why she couldn't figure out what she felt for that man.

Whatever I feel for you is both right and wrong.

Grace's feelings for him had been stagnant for years due to that contradiction, but the man stepped forward on his own and reached out to her without hesitation.

"Grace, let's leave the things of those who have already left behind and just think about the future of the three of us."

It's true that the feelings you have for me aren't all honest.

"What makes me different from your mother? What makes you different from me? We are both perpetrators and victims."

"You are not the perpetrator."

"No! Don't get me wrong."

"You did nothing wrong. It's all my fault."

The more he spoke, the more Grace remembered her own mistakes. Things she had done knowing they would hurt that man flashed through her mind.

She went undercover under him, knowing that she would be brutally repaid. The extent of what the man did was unexpected, but his character was something Grace had anticipated when she went undercover.

That's what hostility is. Mercy is a sublime insult.

So when this guy brought up the word apology, I thought he would make excuses like we were once enemies and there was nothing he could do. Just like he did when Grace was first caught. But he gave up on excuses. Instead, he defended Grace.

It's uncomfortable.

I have no intention of apologizing for what I did. I have already paid the price. Let's throw away the apology and retaliate like we always have. My revenge is not over yet.

But why are you doing this?

It would be understandable if he were simply making up an exaggerated apology to gain her forgiveness, but that man was sincere.

A monster that can be understood but not forgiven speaks incomprehensible words.

"You did nothing wrong."

My heart ached as I watched the man say the same thing as if he had been brainwashed. I wonder if this is how the man felt when he was blind in the past.

Grace, who was staring at the man with blank eyes, suddenly realized something and asked.

"Am I innocent?"

The man nodded without hesitation.

"Because you can't hate me?"

Grace is not a sinless person. She was made to be sinless. If she were a sinner, she would not be able to love with dignity, so the man could not refute the statement that he had brainwashed himself into thinking she was innocent.

"Because I am a sinner, I cannot love with confidence?"

"Grace, that's not it. We're not enemies anymore, so I can't blame you. It was all my misunderstanding that I thought it was your fault. You had your reasons for doing that. Of course, I love you no matter who you are."

A man who took the easy way out but ended up stuck in contradiction tried to overcome the contradiction somehow, but Grace had no intention of taking the hand he extended.

"You don't have to try to love me, who is a sinner. I have no intention of loving you either."

We go our separate ways. As we firmly drew the line, despair began to grow in the man's eyes. Watching him close his eyes tightly as if he was suppressing something and take a deep breath, Grace asked.

"You still don't realize it? I only pretended to love you so I could get revenge."

"know."

"Why are you doing this when you know this? A man with such great pride like you is hanging on to something fake?"

"If the fake was that good, I wonder how much better the real thing will be."

"under...."

Grace snorted.

"So, in the end, you want to ask for my forgiveness and even my love."

The man didn't argue. Grace continued to laugh.

"Do you know that I see you as that beach boy?"

"No, I'd rather look like a monster who imprisoned and tormented you."

"If you know so well, shouldn't you not wish for it? Oh, Winston has no conscience."

Grace scolded the man who was staring at her with a stern face.

"You still put your greed first."

"How can I let you go? I can let go of all my other desires, but I can't let go of my desire for you. That's the only thing I've been able to get through the past three years."

"Don't make that face."

Don't make such a pitiful expression as that boy. Grace gritted her teeth. But when she couldn't bear it, she turned around so that the boy's face couldn't be seen and started to whine.

"I don't care if you regret it or not. How can you think of starting over after doing something like that? Oh, right. Winston has no conscience. I keep forgetting that."

"I won't do that again."

"I thought about it carefully. Try to be nice to the next woman."

"I would like to atone for what I have already done, if only you would allow me to do so."

"Oh, do you still want to be with me?"

Grace turned around with her arms crossed and her mouth twisted.

"There is one way."

Even though he had already read the signs of ridicule, the man's gloomy expression did not change.

"Pray earnestly to God. Let him take you back to the past, like this. That's the only way to make up for what you did."

"It rains on you."

"Leon Winston, I am not God."

The woman blurted out her last words and left.

No, you are God.

Leon listened to the sound of high heels receding from his feet and silently confessed to the absolute being, who did not even know what power he held.

I was afraid of you, the helpless being in my prison. I was afraid that you would make me like this.

He falls for the enemy. Then he crosses the line that should not be crossed with the enemy. In the end, he gives everything he has to the enemy. He laughs at how foolish it is to see other men step on the mines that are clearly visible to them one by one. However, when he comes to his senses, he has already stepped on all the mines and lost both his legs. In the end, it was not that woman who was tied up, but he.

It's scary. He can save you. He holds the power of life and death. With a single word, heaven and hell can change.

Isn't that what God is? So Grace Riddle was Leon Winston's God.

There was a time when Grace was proud that she had made herself a god. But in the end, Leon made her his god.

I'm afraid. What you'll do to me when you find out that you're my god. You'll be happy when you find out that you can send me to hell with a wink, and you'll probably be even more cruel than you are now.

So his cruel god must not have known.

Grace caught the man leaving her. She looked up at him with a confused look in her eyes, which were beginning to show a look of doubt and faint anticipation.

I hate that man. I hate the cruelty he inflicted on me. But if you ask if everything is entirely his fault, Grace can't say no. Everyone involved in the relationship, except for Ellie, the innocent victim, is guilty. Even Grace is no exception.

"It's true that I deceived you and used you."

"No, you were the one who was tricked and used."

His fingertips brushed away her hair, and his warm palms cupped Grace's cheeks. The man made a pained face and caressed her as if comforting her.

"You didn't get involved in your father's work. You had no idea what was going to happen. You were forced to go undercover under me."

Grace felt guilty when he defended her. It was true that she had tried not to go undercover, but she hesitated more for her own safety than for her conscience.

"I thought you lived your whole life as a member of the revolutionary army. I didn't think you were just used like that..."

"... ... ."

"I shouldn't have sent you away that day. Do you know how many times I resisted the urge to jump out of the car and drag you to me when you were crying on the way to the train station? I should have just given in and brought you back. I didn't know you would have heard such a shocking story."

Shocking story? Grace suddenly came to her senses. She pushed away the man who was hugging her and saying sorry and asked.

"Did you see your mother's diary?"

The moment the man answered with his eyes, Grace became lost in thought and grabbed him by the collar.

"Why are you looking at that!"

The man examined her private parts and her mother's private parts one by one. As the man held her trembling hand in humiliation and tried to comfort her, Grace shook him off and barely managed to swear.

"You must be happy. Your enemy lived such a miserable life and died."

"No, not at all."

He made a sick face again. How dare you.

"Who are you to pity my mother!"

Whether the man felt joy or sorrow for his mother and her suffering, it was equally humiliating to Grace.

"Then what emotion should I feel?"

Don't ask me. Grace buried her face in her hands and moaned. Her head was pounding.

"Your mother is the perpetrator because she participated in killing my father. On the other hand, she is also a victim who was used like you. So I know that whatever feelings you have toward your mother are both right and wrong. So what do you want me to do?"

The moment she heard those words filled with despair, Grace realized why she couldn't figure out what she felt for that man.

Whatever I feel for you is both right and wrong.

Grace's feelings for him had been stagnant for years due to that contradiction, but the man stepped forward on his own and reached out to her without hesitation.

"Grace, let's leave the things of those who have already left behind and just think about the future of the three of us."

It's true that the feelings you have for me aren't all honest.

"What makes me different from your mother? What makes you different from me? We are both perpetrators and victims."

"You are not the perpetrator."

"No! Don't get me wrong."

"You did nothing wrong. It's all my fault."

The more he spoke, the more Grace remembered her own mistakes. Things she had done knowing they would hurt that man flashed through her mind.

She went undercover under him, knowing that she would be brutally repaid. The extent of what the man did was unexpected, but his character was something Grace had anticipated when she went undercover.

That's what hostility is. Mercy is a sublime insult.

So when this guy brought up the word apology, I thought he would make excuses like we were once enemies and there was nothing he could do. Just like he did when Grace was first caught. But he gave up on excuses. Instead, he defended Grace.

It's uncomfortable.

I have no intention of apologizing for what I did. I have already paid the price. Let's throw away the apology and retaliate like we always have. My revenge is not over yet.

But why are you doing this?

It would be understandable if he were simply making up an exaggerated apology to gain her forgiveness, but that man was sincere.

A monster that can be understood but not forgiven speaks incomprehensible words.

"You did nothing wrong."

My heart ached as I watched the man say the same thing as if he had been brainwashed. I wonder if this is how the man felt when he was blind in the past.

Grace, who was staring at the man with blank eyes, suddenly realized something and asked.

"Am I innocent?"

The man nodded without hesitation.

"Because you can't hate me?"

Grace is not a sinless person. She was made to be sinless. If she were a sinner, she would not be able to love with dignity, so the man could not refute the statement that he had brainwashed himself into thinking she was innocent.

"Because I am a sinner, I cannot love with confidence?"

"Grace, that's not it. We're not enemies anymore, so I can't blame you. It was all my misunderstanding that I thought it was your fault. You had your reasons for doing that. Of course, I love you no matter who you are."

A man who took the easy way out but ended up stuck in contradiction tried to overcome the contradiction somehow, but Grace had no intention of taking the hand he extended.

"You don't have to try to love me, who is a sinner. I have no intention of loving you either."

We go our separate ways. As we firmly drew the line, despair began to grow in the man's eyes. Watching him close his eyes tightly as if he was suppressing something and take a deep breath, Grace asked.

"You still don't realize it? I only pretended to love you so I could get revenge."

"know."

"Why are you doing this when you know this? A man with such great pride like you is hanging on to something fake?"

"If the fake was that good, I wonder how much better the real thing will be."

"under...."

Grace snorted.

"So, in the end, you want to ask for my forgiveness and even my love."

The man didn't argue. Grace continued to laugh.

"Do you know that I see you as that beach boy?"

"No, I'd rather look like a monster who imprisoned and tormented you."

"If you know so well, shouldn't you not wish for it? Oh, Winston has no conscience."

Grace scolded the man who was staring at her with a stern face.

"You still put your greed first."

"How can I let you go? I can let go of all my other desires, but I can't let go of my desire for you. That's the only thing I've been able to get through the past three years."

"Don't make that face."

Don't make such a pitiful expression as that boy. Grace gritted her teeth. But when she couldn't bear it, she turned around so that the boy's face couldn't be seen and started to whine.

"I don't care if you regret it or not. How can you think of starting over after doing something like that? Oh, right. Winston has no conscience. I keep forgetting that."

"I won't do that again."

"I thought about it carefully. Try to be nice to the next woman."

"I would like to atone for what I have already done, if only you would allow me to do so."

"Oh, do you still want to be with me?"

Grace turned around with her arms crossed and her mouth twisted.

"There is one way."

Even though he had already read the signs of ridicule, the man's gloomy expression did not change.

"Pray earnestly to God. Let him take you back to the past, like this. That's the only way to make up for what you did."

"It rains on you."

"Leon Winston, I am not God."

The woman blurted out her last words and left.

No, you are God.

Leon listened to the sound of high heels receding from his feet and silently confessed to the absolute being, who did not even know what power he held.

I was afraid of you, the helpless being in my prison. I was afraid that you would make me like this.

He falls for the enemy. Then he crosses the line that should not be crossed with the enemy. In the end, he gives everything he has to the enemy. He laughs at how foolish it is to see other men step on the mines that are clearly visible to them one by one. However, when he comes to his senses, he has already stepped on all the mines and lost both his legs. In the end, it was not that woman who was tied up, but he.

It's scary. He can save you. He holds the power of life and death. With a single word, heaven and hell can change.

Isn't that what God is? So Grace Riddle was Leon Winston's God.

There was a time when Grace was proud that she had made herself a god. But in the end, Leon made her his god.

I'm afraid. What you'll do to me when you find out that you're my god. You'll be happy when you find out that you can send me to hell with a wink, and you'll probably be even more cruel than you are now.

So his cruel god must not have known.