lazy dungeon master

Adventurer’s Guild and the First Commission

In the adventurer’s guild, we paid money -> received cards -> got an explanation, isn’t that order backwards? I said as much.

Why would they bother to explain to broke people? Was what they said. Harsh.

“… Well, we only gave you the card beforehand because you came with Gatekeeper-san you know? If we deem you are no good after the inspection, your guild cards will be seized and you will be expelled from the town by the guild’s staff.”

“The heck? Scary.”

“Ah, by the way, I’m sorry but we won’t return the money.”

“That’s even more scary. You cheapskate!”

“The inspection has already begun, you know?”

“Hahaha, I was just kidding. Your treatment of strangers is incredibly reasonable. Yep, very much so.”

“So long as you understand.”

Come on, it’s just troublesome if you do that.

By the way, we’re in a different room now. Looks like they explain while heading to the inspection.

They’re almost definitely going to use lie detecting magic tools.

Let’s try and answer these carefully.

“Then some questions… your hometown?”

“Ah, well, I can’t answer that. I don’t really know.”

“… Me too.”

I wonder how they’d say Japan in this world. Another world…?

“… What are you good at? It doesn’t affect what class you want. Please say if you have any battle experience or things like that.”

“I’ve never been in a fight, I hope to be a rear guard. Oh, how can I become a mage?”

“I can work using my body. I’m even okay being beaten.”

Meat-san? Why do you look a bit delighted by saying you want to be beaten?

I was told that to practice to become a mage I’d need to buy scrolls from magic shops.

“Why do you want to be adventurers?”

“To improve my life.”

“Because Goshujin-sama told me.”

I just want to sleep in safety, I’m not aiming at getting rich…

“… That was very helpful. Well, then for criminal backgrounds, do you have anything you can’t discuss? With that, are those your real names? If those are pseudonyms, please tell me your real names.”

“It is my real name. As for something I can’t talk about… hmmm… ah, did you want to hear about my fetish?”

“I don’t know it since I can’t remember.”

Still, she stared at me with eyes that seemed to say it was alright and that she was looking at something dirty.

Though it looks like I dodged the subject, I wonder if my glance wandering under the table at her feet (leather boots) was exposed…

M-maybe the magic tool understood what I was thinking about!? Maybe I can’t deal with it after all!?

“… What do you think of little girls? Please answer honestly.”

“Eh…? They’re cute, I guess?

“I won’t lose.”

Huh? I don’t understand the intention of that question. This isn’t time to pick up men, Receptionist-san with beautiful breasts. I wonder if my response was the correct answer?

And Meat, why did you say you won’t lose? Ah, is it something about Rokuko? Did something happen?

“… Alright, thank you very much… As for any problems… there doesn’t seem to be any, congratulations. With this you’re clear and ready to become an adventurer.”

“Thank you.”

“Continuing on, I will explain the guild.”

The heck, that’s an amazing objection.

But we passed since there weren’t any problems.

According to her explanation, the guild has a rank system with S at the top, continuing from A to G after that. It seems that people like us who have no experience start at G-Rank. Ranking up is done by commission achievement points and a guild inspection.

She informed us that since commissions are put on the bulletin board, we only need to bring one that matches our rank to the counter.

(Looks like the price for those who can’t read is negotiable. Doesn’t matter to us though.)

That and that the adventurer guild wouldn’t help at all if we commit a crime. The guild card would be invalidated and confiscated, as well as the reward being taken away.

“I see, I get it. Oh, should I watch out for anything else while staying in town?”

“… It’s better to keep away from the slum outside of the south gate. There, even though they’re slaves, they get treated harshly.”

Woah. So the slaves there get treated more like slaves?

Though I feel awkward treating Meat roughly… she’s a child after all.

“Thanks for the advice…”

I wouldn’t follow it, but I didn’t tell her that.

From her glare, even if I didn’t say it she probably understood that though.

*

There were no template-like events to welcome newcomers. Drunk adventurers? Dead drunk and asleep. It’s good they aren’t making trouble.

Well then, let’s check out the commissions immediately.

I looked for information about [Dungeons] and the [Ordinary Cave].

… Oh, there it is, ‘Dungeon [Ordinary Cave]’s Survey Reward: 1 Silver Coins, 2 People Minimum’… eh, F-Rank or higher huh. What now? We can’t accept it if it’s not G.

We need to increase our rank. Looks like it’ll take some time… ah, nope. All of a sudden it’s become tiresome. I wanna sleep…

y9PayBB

“Meat, are there any commissions we can take at G-Rank? Something easy if possible.”

“Hmm… ah. What about this one?”

The request Meat found was: ‘Toilet Cleaning, Reward: 8 Copper Coins, Rank-N/A, 1 Person Minimum.’

Ah, yeah. There it is. I wouldn’t have understood if it said something like herb collecting.

Huh? But isn’t it fine to use use [Cleanup]? Thinking that, I took it to the counter to ask about it.

“… Oh, yes. The commission wants cleaning since [Cleanup] didn’t work. Will you do it?”

“Please give me a moment to think about it.”

That’s just filthy… is what I was thinking, when Meat secretly spoke to me.

“It’ll be fine if it’s Goshujin-sama’s [Cleanup]. It’ll even be more clean than usual.”

“Eh, you think so?”

“Goshujin-sama’s bubbles are amazing. It’s alright. If that doesn’t work I’ll clean it.”

Is that so? Though the image is important for magic, was there that much of a difference?

… Well, I’ll give it a go since Meat said she’ll clean it if it doesn’t work.

“Excuse me, we’ll do this one.”

“… … … Alright, you have accepted it. The location is the west industrial zone’s blacksmith, don’t get lost. Don’t forget to have the client sign the commission ticket after you have finished.”

The heck, did I do something to Receptionist-san?

She was looking at me with eyes like she saw something incredibly filthy. Even her words were sharp.

Is that it? That I was going to treat Meat more like a slave after all?

At any rate, we went to deal with the commission since we accepted it.

Though the map she showed me was quickly taken back, I didn’t have any problems since I could look at the menu and arrived at the west industrial zone.

It’s invisible to Meat, so I figured other people couldn’t see it. It’d be better to not stand out in public, it would probably look suspicious for a person to look around at nothing in front of them.

The walking that I’d left to the clothes golem stopped abruptly. Looks like we arrived at our destination. It’s good we didn’t get lost.

I decided to finish it quickly and pass the commission ticket to the client. The client was a man that felt like an experienced and taciturn artisan.

“… A slave huh. That mean you’ll have the slave there do the cleaning? Pretty small though…”

“I’ll take a look at it first. We more or less accepted the commission together after all.”

“… That so? Over here then.”

Peeking my head into the restroom, it was filled with the unique stench of human waste. Blegh, I feel nauseous.

“It’s fine to vomit, but clean it up yourself. I hired you to clean the stains.”

“… Ah, yeah.”

“Call for me when you’re done.”

The client left quickly. That’s convenient.

“… You okay, Meat?”

“I’m used to this.”

What kind of place where you in? Thinking that, I tried out using [Cleanup].

I specifically pictured bleaching things with a chlorinated detergent.

“[Cleanup]”

The entire restroom was covered in a froth of bubbles. After the restroom’s walls and floor were covered, it wrapped the toilet in bubbles before disappearing. It’d become completely clean, even having a faint scent of chlorine and lavender drift through the air. It felt like a real restroom after being cleaned.

… Oh, the brown porcelain was originally white. The rest of the restroom was the same.

“Goshujin-sama is amazing.”

“Oh, nice.”

However, it was over in an instant… Hmm, since I don’t want to become a famous adventurer, this stands out too much in various ways. Maybe I’ll kill time with a little nap?

“Alright. Well then, Meat. Please pretend to clean the restroom. I’ll go do a bit of information gathering. If someone comes say I’m in the middle of cleaning… That’s right, about one hour should be fine. The clock golem you have, does it have enough mana? … Ah, please watch the clock without letting anyone see.”

“Y-yes… one hour, then.”

“I’ll leave it to you if someone comes before I return. If no one comes before an hour’s up, get the commission end signature and wait for me.”

“U-understood.”

I left Meat in the restroom and secretly went outside.

… Even though it’s clean now, it’s still weird to sleep in a restroom after all.

Adventurer’s Guild and the First Commission

In the adventurer’s guild, we paid money -> received cards -> got an explanation, isn’t that order backwards? I said as much.

Why would they bother to explain to broke people? Was what they said. Harsh.

“… Well, we only gave you the card beforehand because you came with Gatekeeper-san you know? If we deem you are no good after the inspection, your guild cards will be seized and you will be expelled from the town by the guild’s staff.”

“The heck? Scary.”

“Ah, by the way, I’m sorry but we won’t return the money.”

“That’s even more scary. You cheapskate!”

“The inspection has already begun, you know?”

“Hahaha, I was just kidding. Your treatment of strangers is incredibly reasonable. Yep, very much so.”

“So long as you understand.”

Come on, it’s just troublesome if you do that.

By the way, we’re in a different room now. Looks like they explain while heading to the inspection.

They’re almost definitely going to use lie detecting magic tools.

Let’s try and answer these carefully.

“Then some questions… your hometown?”

“Ah, well, I can’t answer that. I don’t really know.”

“… Me too.”

I wonder how they’d say Japan in this world. Another world…?

“… What are you good at? It doesn’t affect what class you want. Please say if you have any battle experience or things like that.”

“I’ve never been in a fight, I hope to be a rear guard. Oh, how can I become a mage?”

“I can work using my body. I’m even okay being beaten.”

Meat-san? Why do you look a bit delighted by saying you want to be beaten?

I was told that to practice to become a mage I’d need to buy scrolls from magic shops.

“Why do you want to be adventurers?”

“To improve my life.”

“Because Goshujin-sama told me.”

I just want to sleep in safety, I’m not aiming at getting rich…

“… That was very helpful. Well, then for criminal backgrounds, do you have anything you can’t discuss? With that, are those your real names? If those are pseudonyms, please tell me your real names.”

“It is my real name. As for something I can’t talk about… hmmm… ah, did you want to hear about my fetish?”

“I don’t know it since I can’t remember.”

Still, she stared at me with eyes that seemed to say it was alright and that she was looking at something dirty.

Though it looks like I dodged the subject, I wonder if my glance wandering under the table at her feet (leather boots) was exposed…

M-maybe the magic tool understood what I was thinking about!? Maybe I can’t deal with it after all!?

“… What do you think of little girls? Please answer honestly.”

“Eh…? They’re cute, I guess?

“I won’t lose.”

Huh? I don’t understand the intention of that question. This isn’t time to pick up men, Receptionist-san with beautiful breasts. I wonder if my response was the correct answer?

And Meat, why did you say you won’t lose? Ah, is it something about Rokuko? Did something happen?

“… Alright, thank you very much… As for any problems… there doesn’t seem to be any, congratulations. With this you’re clear and ready to become an adventurer.”

“Thank you.”

“Continuing on, I will explain the guild.”

The heck, that’s an amazing objection.

But we passed since there weren’t any problems.

According to her explanation, the guild has a rank system with S at the top, continuing from A to G after that. It seems that people like us who have no experience start at G-Rank. Ranking up is done by commission achievement points and a guild inspection.

She informed us that since commissions are put on the bulletin board, we only need to bring one that matches our rank to the counter.

(Looks like the price for those who can’t read is negotiable. Doesn’t matter to us though.)

That and that the adventurer guild wouldn’t help at all if we commit a crime. The guild card would be invalidated and confiscated, as well as the reward being taken away.

“I see, I get it. Oh, should I watch out for anything else while staying in town?”

“… It’s better to keep away from the slum outside of the south gate. There, even though they’re slaves, they get treated harshly.”

Woah. So the slaves there get treated more like slaves?

Though I feel awkward treating Meat roughly… she’s a child after all.

“Thanks for the advice…”

I wouldn’t follow it, but I didn’t tell her that.

From her glare, even if I didn’t say it she probably understood that though.

*

There were no template-like events to welcome newcomers. Drunk adventurers? Dead drunk and asleep. It’s good they aren’t making trouble.

Well then, let’s check out the commissions immediately.

I looked for information about [Dungeons] and the [Ordinary Cave].

… Oh, there it is, ‘Dungeon [Ordinary Cave]’s Survey Reward: 1 Silver Coins, 2 People Minimum’… eh, F-Rank or higher huh. What now? We can’t accept it if it’s not G.

We need to increase our rank. Looks like it’ll take some time… ah, nope. All of a sudden it’s become tiresome. I wanna sleep…

y9PayBB

“Meat, are there any commissions we can take at G-Rank? Something easy if possible.”

“Hmm… ah. What about this one?”

The request Meat found was: ‘Toilet Cleaning, Reward: 8 Copper Coins, Rank-N/A, 1 Person Minimum.’

Ah, yeah. There it is. I wouldn’t have understood if it said something like herb collecting.

Huh? But isn’t it fine to use use [Cleanup]? Thinking that, I took it to the counter to ask about it.

“… Oh, yes. The commission wants cleaning since [Cleanup] didn’t work. Will you do it?”

“Please give me a moment to think about it.”

That’s just filthy… is what I was thinking, when Meat secretly spoke to me.

“It’ll be fine if it’s Goshujin-sama’s [Cleanup]. It’ll even be more clean than usual.”

“Eh, you think so?”

“Goshujin-sama’s bubbles are amazing. It’s alright. If that doesn’t work I’ll clean it.”

Is that so? Though the image is important for magic, was there that much of a difference?

… Well, I’ll give it a go since Meat said she’ll clean it if it doesn’t work.

“Excuse me, we’ll do this one.”

“… … … Alright, you have accepted it. The location is the west industrial zone’s blacksmith, don’t get lost. Don’t forget to have the client sign the commission ticket after you have finished.”

The heck, did I do something to Receptionist-san?

She was looking at me with eyes like she saw something incredibly filthy. Even her words were sharp.

Is that it? That I was going to treat Meat more like a slave after all?

At any rate, we went to deal with the commission since we accepted it.

Though the map she showed me was quickly taken back, I didn’t have any problems since I could look at the menu and arrived at the west industrial zone.

It’s invisible to Meat, so I figured other people couldn’t see it. It’d be better to not stand out in public, it would probably look suspicious for a person to look around at nothing in front of them.

The walking that I’d left to the clothes golem stopped abruptly. Looks like we arrived at our destination. It’s good we didn’t get lost.

I decided to finish it quickly and pass the commission ticket to the client. The client was a man that felt like an experienced and taciturn artisan.

“… A slave huh. That mean you’ll have the slave there do the cleaning? Pretty small though…”

“I’ll take a look at it first. We more or less accepted the commission together after all.”

“… That so? Over here then.”

Peeking my head into the restroom, it was filled with the unique stench of human waste. Blegh, I feel nauseous.

“It’s fine to vomit, but clean it up yourself. I hired you to clean the stains.”

“… Ah, yeah.”

“Call for me when you’re done.”

The client left quickly. That’s convenient.

“… You okay, Meat?”

“I’m used to this.”

What kind of place where you in? Thinking that, I tried out using [Cleanup].

I specifically pictured bleaching things with a chlorinated detergent.

“[Cleanup]”

The entire restroom was covered in a froth of bubbles. After the restroom’s walls and floor were covered, it wrapped the toilet in bubbles before disappearing. It’d become completely clean, even having a faint scent of chlorine and lavender drift through the air. It felt like a real restroom after being cleaned.

… Oh, the brown porcelain was originally white. The rest of the restroom was the same.

“Goshujin-sama is amazing.”

“Oh, nice.”

However, it was over in an instant… Hmm, since I don’t want to become a famous adventurer, this stands out too much in various ways. Maybe I’ll kill time with a little nap?

“Alright. Well then, Meat. Please pretend to clean the restroom. I’ll go do a bit of information gathering. If someone comes say I’m in the middle of cleaning… That’s right, about one hour should be fine. The clock golem you have, does it have enough mana? … Ah, please watch the clock without letting anyone see.”

“Y-yes… one hour, then.”

“I’ll leave it to you if someone comes before I return. If no one comes before an hour’s up, get the commission end signature and wait for me.”

“U-understood.”

I left Meat in the restroom and secretly went outside.

… Even though it’s clean now, it’s still weird to sleep in a restroom after all.