my fake boyfriend
So, that was how we ended where we were at this current moment in time. Me, on the floor, pulling my hair out and Aaron lying down on my bed, his phone hovering over his face.
I had previously hoped I could regret offering to hear him out in the confines and comfort of my own home, but of course, Aaron had other plans. After promising to tell me everything, ensued another half an hour discussion in which Aaron used all his charm to persuade me to let him over to talk through the plan.
And, Lord knows, he had a lot of charm.
Fortunely, Mom was out visiting one of her friends and I thanked the gods that at least something was going right today.
For the last half hour he'd been here, I had tried to bring the topic of his reasoning about his plan, but he had changed the subject swiftly, proving it was still a sore subject. It was either the avoidance or just blatantly ignoring me as he perused through his phone.
He spent the last 5 minutes texting his friends, not even bothering to offer me a coherent response and merely laughed at his phone, making my teeth grit in anger as I waited arms folded for his attention again. Yet Aaron paid no heed, so I chose then to voice my irritation again.
"Aaron!" I repeated, frustrated beyond belief from his lack of response. I made sure I said it louder this time.
"Yeah," he muttered, not even taking his eyes off the phone.
"My house isn't a bed and breakfast. Either spit it out or leave," I dully stated, I breathed through my nose, trying to keep my cool.
"Oh sorry, it's- fuck that's weird" he mumbled to himself, not even giving me a satisfying answer.
Okay! That is it! My anger had reached its limit way before this, but now, it was at an all-time high. I leaped off the floor and stomped my way to the bed. Yet, he still wasn't looking up at me. I grabbed the phone off of him and scowled at his lack of concentration.
"Okay, I seriously am trying to help you, but I can't if you're going to get distracted so easily! What are you doing that's so entertaining anyways?" I broke off mid-rant, turning the phone over to see what had the badboy's attention for the past half hour, but immediately regretted it. I let out a squeal, tossing the phone away from my face and to the floor. This made Aaron break out into laughter, which was probably the first real response I had gotten from him this entire time.
I should've seen that coming. I mean, he is the player of Redwood High. I can't imagine girls sending him pictures of rainbows and unicorns. Even so, I still couldn't help the bile that rose to my throat. To think he enjoyed that kind of thing. I glared at him and he stopped laughing.
"Sorry," he breathed, the laughter apparent in his tone, not even sounding the slightest bit sincere. I rolled my eyes, knowing he was just saying sorry to appease me. Typical. He seemed to realise my shift in mood and stood off the bed, our bodies close as he did so. He looked into my eyes with the same intense look he gave me earlier, but this time it was filled with something more- sincerity.
"Sorry," he repeated slowly. I shouldn't accept his apology. He was using my weakness, of getting flustered at male proximity, as an advantage and he knew it. He didn't even look interested in the favour that he asked of me. I should have kicked him out of my bedroom and house just then. But, some nagging feeling inside me pushed that thought away, arguing that he probably needed it just as much as I did.
"No, you're not." I said flatly, stepping away with him with a tired sigh, eyeing my pyjamas hung on my desk chair. What I would do to be fully showered and wearing them as I watched Netflix. I side-eyed Aaron to see the dim look in his eyes, one which seemed so uncharacteristic.
"No, I am. I'm just... pushing it off." He murmured, jaw clenching as he eyed the floor and I immediately knew he was talking about his reasoning.
I nodded with a sigh, glad to know there was semblance of hope to get back on track before shrugging.
"Well, my promise did extend to hearing you out, so I'm all ears." I verbalise to which the dull look in Aaron's eyes dissipated, leaving the carefree boy in its place.
He smiled in return before returning to his position on the bed and putting his hands behind his head.
"This way I can't text, right?" He said with a smirk.
I smiled in response, but it was more a reflex than anything else. He was just so... himself. He didn't have to think of what to say or do next, it was instinctive. There was none of the social anxiety or the paranoia that plagued my mind when I interacted with others. He was fully comfortable being himself and I envied that about him. His life was clean-cut. He was clearly wealthy, given the various assortment of shoes and clothes he flaunted at school and he was most definitely inherently attractive. Given that, why would he, of all people, need to get someone to be his fake girlfriend?
"Aaron?" I started nervously. As he looked at me, my own questions reeled in my head. A part of me felt so invasive to try prod in his personal matters, but I needed to know, seeing as how I was now basically a part of this.
"Yeah," he replied and I turned to look at him, my questioning gaze burning into his skull. His hands were still behind his head, but now his eyes were closed so he couldn't see my thoughtful expression. A small smile graced his face. I couldn't help but smile back. I wouldn't dare admit it to him, but he was very beautiful, in a masculine sort of way. My nervousness returned at that. But, I managed to push it all away.
"Are you ready to tell me?"
His body tensed and the smile went. He opened his eyes and blue sapphires looked up at me. My fear returned at his gaze. He looked angry. His eyes were narrowed and his eyebrows were knitted. I was tempted to take a step back but held my position, instead taking a step forwards. But instead of lashing out at me, like I expected him to, he sighed, sitting up properly to face me. His face looked distant and almost...pained.
"I know, if we're doing this, you deserve an explanation, right?" He mused tiredly, but it was a different kind of tiredness- the kind of tiredness that no amount of sleep could heal.
He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Wow, I guess I'm really gonna be pouring my heart out to a girl I met an hour ago." He joked dryly, his voice devoid of any humour and I let out a small laugh.
I felt the feeling again. The people-pleaser one where I wanted to make him happy and I scolded myself for thinking like that. Nevertheless, I still ignored all logical thoughts and went with my heart. I sat on the bed beside him, smiling, encouraging him to continue. He smiled slightly at me before speaking.
"It's my mom. I- she- something happened." He was now staring at the walls, deep in thought. His face was emotionless and I listened tepidly, having no experience in how to comfort anyone.
"Last week, we got into a really heated argument. Me and my friends, we'd gotten into a fight with some older men over something really stupid and my mom was really angry about it. She was right to be, but I don't know, I wasn't in the right state of mind."
Third Person POV
Last week
"Okay, I get it! You don't think I know that?!" Aaron yelled, making his way into the kitchen before yanking the fridge open aggressively. He cursed when his actions caused an orange carton to fall on the floor, an ocean of orange pooling around his trainers. He sidestepped to grab a few wipes, deliberately ignoring the sniffles he heard from behind.
He couldn't find himself to look at her in times like this. He couldn't tolerate the disappointed look she'd give him. Kneeling down, he began to wipe the floor and it was then his mother chose to speak.
"If I did something wrong, Aaron, you need to tell me because I don't think I can stand this behaviour anymore." She pleaded, wiping at her nose with the floral-scented tissue in her hand.
Aaron tutted at his loudly, snapping his gaze to the only women that actually mattered in his life.
"For god sake, mom, it's not you! I'm just being a teenager." He lied to her face. Only he and his friends knew why the sudden spiral in Aaron's behaviour had come to be and no one was willing to bring up the dreaded name.
Speaking of friends, he turned slightly to look over his mother's shoulder to see them sat in the sitting room, equally as bruised and bloodied from the fight. He didn't mean for them to be a part of this private conversation, but now nor did he care. They were not merely his friends; they were his brothers and were there when other certain relatives had failed to support him.
They were meant to go home, but their parents would undoubtedly punish them for what they did. What Aaron had done, actually. It was him that had started the fight. He didn't know why he did, but he knew he couldn't control his feelings anymore. He was a broken mess and couldn't care to conceal it. Of course, his friends had jumped in when the opponents numbers had increased. That was the way they were. So, he had taken the blame upon himself when the authorities had arrived and asked his guardian to be called. He had remembered her stern face as she was parked outside, her window down. The car ride had been silent but tense and he knew that the feelings were bubbling over. They both needed this release. The past few weeks... no, the past few years had been too rough on them.
His mom let out a rather loud sob which made him instinctively get to his feet and go to her, but she put a hand up to halt him.
"Why do you do this to me, Aaron? Why?!" She cried and he felt his blood boil in both sadness and anger.
"Me? You're not the only one who's hurt! I can't try to forget everything like you did and be happy." He said, closing his eyes to stop his temper from rising.
"Happy? You think I'm happy?! I wish I had happiness!" She wailed, flailing her arms exaggeratedly.
"Oh, so I'm not enough, is that it?" He asked almost sarcastically, but he felt hurt at her words.
"You are! I just might not be around to have you anymore!" She retorted and then her composure was broken and she clumsily dropped to the floor, a mess of tears.
It was then he was told she had stage four liver cancer. She told him everything. How she had worsened over the 1 year in which she was told and apologised profusely for not telling him. She spoke in hurried whispers, as though she was to go then, speaking about the will she had written for him and asked him to promise her a number of things, but Aaron was too numb to move. His friends watched in horrified sadness, but chose not to intervene. They were not meant to be there at this time, but now that they were, they couldn't stand to leave them alone. Aaron let his eyes settle on his mom as she cried. How had he not realised, the cryptic way she spoke over the days, the loving hugs and the regular phone calls. Forget that, how did he not realise that his mom had become a mere shell of her former self. Now, sitting as bony and dishevelled as she was before him, he felt anger. But, only towards himself. Once again, he disappointed himself in how much he failed her. Not just her. He had failed everyone in his life and he hated himself for that.
"I want you to promise me, Aaron, that you'll-"
"Why should I promise you anything? When you didn't think it was necessary to tell me a year ago." He let out, his voice defeated but still menacingly low.
His breathing was ragged and he channelled the anger at himself to the women before him. She should have told him. He could have done something. He could have changed. He could have made it better. Or, did she not think him capable of it?
She tutted at his words, sounding strangely normal as if she had just hidden a small matter from him.
"You had so much going on, Aaron. With all the tension with the girl as well as school, I didn't want to worry you too much." She explained but stopped when looking into the blue fire alight in his eyes.
"Forget girls, I only care about you. You should have told me." He said again, his tone rough and harsh.
She held his cold hands between her trembling ones.
"You can't forget girls, Aaron, it doesn't work like that. I want you to find a nice one to settle down when you're older and be happy- in a way that I never could be. I'm scared for you sometimes. Promise me you'll not push others away anymore." She said, a tear streaked down her face and her lips quivered.
He knew how much this meant to her. Aaron was known for being a player, not just at school but within his house as well. He knew his mom had heard the door opening in the late hours as well as his and a female's laughter entwined as they sneaked to his bedroom. He would feel the bitterness hit him when he woke and had to sneak her out to see his mom making breakfast in the kitchen. She didn't say anything, she was too scared to. He knew who he reminded her of and he hated himself for it. But, he couldn't find himself to change.
Maybe the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. The physical resemblance he could see when he looked in the mirror and he knew she saw it too. So, when he did those things, it must have hit too close to home for her.
He shook his head roughly, squeezing her hands.
"I don't need any woman but you. I don't wa-"
"Don't do this!" She cried.
"Do what, mom?" He asked.
"Be anything like him." And it was those words that made him snap inside.
"I have a girlfriend, mom." He uttered out suddenly and his mom's eyebrows knitted together. He confused himself with his words as well, but didn't have the heart to backtrack.
"A girlfriend? You don't usually call them girlfriends? You're not just saying this to appease me, are you?" She asked.
The hope lingering in her tone urged him to continue.
"Why would I, mom? You'd like her; she's your classic nose in a book type." He lied, savoring the smile that lit up her face. It was the first time she had smiled because of him in a long time and so he didnt regret his lie at all.
He looked to his friends who glanced at the scene curiously. He didn't want to tell them the truth, that the only way he could make his mom happy was to tell pathetic lies because he was such a bad son. So, he nodded to confirm it to them and they exchanged glances with each other.
Then the talks came about meeting her and he promised he would find a girl, not for himself because he was through with love. Girls for games were now his only play. He'd make an exception this time and would accept getting a girlfriend. After all, she would have to play the biggest game of all.
"Oh..." was all I could say and I chastised myself for giving such a pathetic answer. He must have really cared for his mother to go out with me. He turned towards me, the look on his face making my breath hitch. His eyes were intense and full of emotion. I could see the emotions swirling in his dark blue pupils- everything he wasn't telling me was on show, right in his eyes. He opened his mouth as if to speak but, instead, he closed it. He then turned back to the wall. His jaw clenched as he spoke.
But I stayed where I was and listened as he spoke.
"Do you know how much my lie kills me?" He looked at me, almost as if he was begging me to speak, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I was speechless and no matter how hard I tried to speak I couldn't.
He spoke again, his voice filled with determination.
"I'm doing this for her. I'm not going to sit around and mope about what is to come. I'm going to do a little changes so that, when the time does come, she'll have nothing but good memories."
My throat suddenly felt dry as everything was connecting together in my head. That was why it was fake, because it was for his mum. Still I gathered all the courage I could muster and asked him the other thing that was pressing on my mind, careful not to ask any question that could potentially set him off.
"But why me?"
His face, that displayed sadness not seconds ago, morphed into that of confusion.
"Why not? You're all the qualities my mum could ask for- intelligent, easygoing, friendly." I nodded.
He nodded back, as if he knew I was starting to get it. "And really pretty" He stated bluntly.
I blushed from his compliment, but gained my composure.
"We're keeping this lie up for your friends too, aren't we?
He stood up and chuckled dryly before replying.
"It's a big lie, but I need this."
I nodded, but questioned again, seeking to douse my curiosity.
"Wouldn't your friends understand that you just want to make your mum happy? Surely, Danny or Justin would. I mean, are you guys not close or something?"
I bit hardly on my lip in the small silence that followed. I just hoped that Aaron wasn't offended by such personal questions.
Aaron didn't seem to mind, nodding his head and saying: "Yeah we're close, but they're not exactly on good terms with mothers, so they wouldn't see my need the same way I would." he said with an unamused chuckle.
I raised my eyebrow quizzically. "Meaning?"
"Justin's mom died when he was born and Danny hates his mom. I don't think they'd understand," he said briefly.
I spoke before I could think.
"You know, if it makes you feel any better, I admire the reason you did it. It's not hard to tell that you love your mom."
He didn't say anything to this and, so, I continued.
"Oh, and I know it might not mean much, but I'm sorry about your mum, Aaron. I understand how she must feel." I explained, but my words were restricted and teetering on the edge of a wall I had put up long back.
Never let others too close to your inner self. Information gives power.
"Thanks, Alexis." He said quietly, but he said nothing else.
"You're welcome," I whispered just as gently; a small smile playing on my lips. The silence was disrupted my a beep from my phone and I looked to see a message from my mum.
~ On my way with food! Set the table. ~
I smiled at the text before turning to tell Aaron, but he had seemingly already noticed and I watched as he stood, making his way to my door. He turned to me just before walking out.
"Will you do it?" He asked, his gaze searching my own and I bit my lip in contemplation before shrugging.
"Give me until tomorrow afternoon." I urged, thinking back to how Aaron had told me his mom wanted to meet his girlfriend tomorrow evening.
He nodded at this, not giving away any hint of what he was feeling before holding his phone up slightly.
"I'll wait for your text." He said, his ocean eyes searing right through me and I nodded numbly as he exited without so much as a backwards glance. He had given me his number at some point during this meet up and I had reluctantly taken it, not wanting him to know that it was the first number I had, outside my family.
Looking back to my desk, I made my way downstairs before mom came or she would most definitely give me hell for not setting the table.
The pyjamas could wait.