one shots explicit

When I found out all I could do is cry. Boy isn't that pathetic. I found out that the man that I loved is getting married in a matter of months and all I could do was fucking cry.

I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to put up a front. That shit stung more than a slap in the face. It felt like someone had stabbed me in my heart and twisted the knife with each breathe I took.

See it one thing to love someone and know they will never love you back but honey it's a completely nother thing to realize that they will never love you back because they are to busy loving someone else.

I sat there when he told my class and I plastered a fake smile on my face. I pretended like my heart didn't just shatter into a million pieces. I asked how he proposed. I made sure the jealousy was stripped from my voice. Not once did it crack.

But when I got home and I was sure no one could hear me I cried my eyes out like a newborn baby fresh out the womb.

Now I know my crush was a little unrealistic but I loved that man. At least I think I loved him. He made me realize that I was beautiful and amazing in my own way.

Having a crush on your teacher can be weird I'll admit that as well but there was something about him. He wasn't like the guys my age. He seemed to understand me. He wouldn't tease me or make me feel like shit. He would only bring me up.

Imagine loving someone and having to see them everyday knowing that your love was unrequited.

I watched him as he introduced a new boy to the class. His name was Josè or Julio or something. I wasn't really paying much attention. But honestly that wasn't my fault Mr. Gonzales was very distractingly attractive.

I only started paying attention because I saw that Mr. Gonzales was staring straight at me.

"Jazzy the seat next to you is empty right."

My cheeks burned bright red.

"Umm yeah..."

"Ok this is where you will sit" said Mr. Gonzales as he turned to the new boy.

I guess the kid was cute I mean he was a little to swaggy for me.

He looked like a typical asshole. Bright blue eyes, blonde hair swept to perfection onto his forehead. I would say he was about 5ft10 with perfect posture. He wore a pair of turquoise customized foams and a turquiose button up american apparel polo with khaki slacks that were pressed. He had a plain black backpack slung over his shoulders. He shrugged his shoulders and the muscles that seemed to cover his whole body rippled.

Every single girl in my class watched him like a hawk. If he didn't have a girlfriend by the end of the day he would have one by the end of the week.

"Jazzy can you show him to all of his classes"

I stopped staring at whatever his name was and look at Mr. Gonzales.

"Yes"

My cheeks turned bright red again.

Fuck I was going to have to learn how to control that. I grabbed my pencil and began to start the worksheet we were given in the beginning of class.

I felt someone slide into the seat next to me. I really didn't want to look up. then I felt someone tap my shoulder. I looked up and saw the new kid Joe or whatever staring at me.

"Hey my name is Julian."

"Hi... I'm Jazmin but everyone calls me Jazzy."

"Nice to meet you."

"Yeah."

I stopped looking at him and continued to do my worksheet. It was so weird I felt like someone was staring at me. But I didn't have any of my friends in this class. I looked up and saw the new kid looking at me.

"Josh or whatever your name is I'm sorry if I'm being rude but can you please stop staring at me. I don't know how things were at your old school but that's just weird."

The new kid rolled his eyes and blushed.

"My names Julian I just told you that... and I'm sorry I was staring at you I just thought you were pretty but I see you probably don't care about my opinion."

It was my turn to blush then.

"Ohh... umm....well" I stuttered.

"It's fine Jazzy I knew girls like you at my old school. Way to pretty to even give me a chance."

I stared at him with my mouth wide open. I looked at my brown hair that fell right below my breast. My far from model frame. My normal plain Jane face.

I couldn't help it I laughed right in his face.

"So like do you do this to make sure that you can have your own pick of girls at school. I'm not dumb Julian I know how boys are and I know I am not their definition of beautiful so don't humor me."

I stared him down until his cheeks turned even brighter red than before then I looked at my worksheet and started to do it again.

"You're wrong..." he whispered.

"What are you..." I said before he cut me off.

"Who's to say I can't think you're beautiful. Who's to say I can't say that I like how you pretend not to give a damn about anyone or anything. I've only known you for 20 minutes and I know that you can't really be how you pretend to be. Honestly I don't even really know you but right now I know I want to. I wanna know what makes you tick and your favorite color and the reason why you blush so damn much. Shit Jazzy I want to be your friend. So don't push me away... Don't turn away from me before you even get to know me."

I looked up from my worksheet and stared into Julian's eyes. They were sparkling with wonder and curiosity. He wasn't lying.

We spent the rest of the class talking about the randomest of things. He told me about soccer and his love of it. I told him about my knack for getting into trouble. We bonded so easily. When the bell rang I didn't want to leave and I could tell he didn't want to either.

I grabbed his schedule while we walked to his next class. We had every single class together except for advisory.

I showed him where everything was. The day went by fast with both of us learning more and more about each other.

I was intrigued. He seemed to have live such an amazing life. His dad was in the military and instead of his family being split up they just move along with him. I told him about my family a little bit I know he could tell I was holding back. It was nice to talk to someone new about everything in my life.

Right before advisory I showed Julian to his class. Before I left he grabbed my hand.

"Jazzy I know it's only been a day and this is going to sound so weird but can we stay like this maybe even become closer. I feel like we would be good together. Like we don't have to go out right now but I don't want you to be with anyone else."

He stared at me.

My hand was tingling inside of his. The butterflies were swarming in my stomach and pretty soon they were going to take flight.

"But why me."

"The moment you looked at me I just knew I had to try..."

I squeezed his hand and intertwined his fingers into mine.

"There's no shame in trying right."

He squeezed my hand back and we slowly let go.

I walked to advisory happier than ever. Maybe Mr. Gonzales wasn't meant to be my love after all.

When I found out all I could do is cry. Boy isn't that pathetic. I found out that the man that I loved is getting married in a matter of months and all I could do was fucking cry.

I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to put up a front. That shit stung more than a slap in the face. It felt like someone had stabbed me in my heart and twisted the knife with each breathe I took.

See it one thing to love someone and know they will never love you back but honey it's a completely nother thing to realize that they will never love you back because they are to busy loving someone else.

I sat there when he told my class and I plastered a fake smile on my face. I pretended like my heart didn't just shatter into a million pieces. I asked how he proposed. I made sure the jealousy was stripped from my voice. Not once did it crack.

But when I got home and I was sure no one could hear me I cried my eyes out like a newborn baby fresh out the womb.

Now I know my crush was a little unrealistic but I loved that man. At least I think I loved him. He made me realize that I was beautiful and amazing in my own way.

Having a crush on your teacher can be weird I'll admit that as well but there was something about him. He wasn't like the guys my age. He seemed to understand me. He wouldn't tease me or make me feel like shit. He would only bring me up.

Imagine loving someone and having to see them everyday knowing that your love was unrequited.

I watched him as he introduced a new boy to the class. His name was Josè or Julio or something. I wasn't really paying much attention. But honestly that wasn't my fault Mr. Gonzales was very distractingly attractive.

I only started paying attention because I saw that Mr. Gonzales was staring straight at me.

"Jazzy the seat next to you is empty right."

My cheeks burned bright red.

"Umm yeah..."

"Ok this is where you will sit" said Mr. Gonzales as he turned to the new boy.

I guess the kid was cute I mean he was a little to swaggy for me.

He looked like a typical asshole. Bright blue eyes, blonde hair swept to perfection onto his forehead. I would say he was about 5ft10 with perfect posture. He wore a pair of turquoise customized foams and a turquiose button up american apparel polo with khaki slacks that were pressed. He had a plain black backpack slung over his shoulders. He shrugged his shoulders and the muscles that seemed to cover his whole body rippled.

Every single girl in my class watched him like a hawk. If he didn't have a girlfriend by the end of the day he would have one by the end of the week.

"Jazzy can you show him to all of his classes"

I stopped staring at whatever his name was and look at Mr. Gonzales.

"Yes"

My cheeks turned bright red again.

Fuck I was going to have to learn how to control that. I grabbed my pencil and began to start the worksheet we were given in the beginning of class.

I felt someone slide into the seat next to me. I really didn't want to look up. then I felt someone tap my shoulder. I looked up and saw the new kid Joe or whatever staring at me.

"Hey my name is Julian."

"Hi... I'm Jazmin but everyone calls me Jazzy."

"Nice to meet you."

"Yeah."

I stopped looking at him and continued to do my worksheet. It was so weird I felt like someone was staring at me. But I didn't have any of my friends in this class. I looked up and saw the new kid looking at me.

"Josh or whatever your name is I'm sorry if I'm being rude but can you please stop staring at me. I don't know how things were at your old school but that's just weird."

The new kid rolled his eyes and blushed.

"My names Julian I just told you that... and I'm sorry I was staring at you I just thought you were pretty but I see you probably don't care about my opinion."

It was my turn to blush then.

"Ohh... umm....well" I stuttered.

"It's fine Jazzy I knew girls like you at my old school. Way to pretty to even give me a chance."

I stared at him with my mouth wide open. I looked at my brown hair that fell right below my breast. My far from model frame. My normal plain Jane face.

I couldn't help it I laughed right in his face.

"So like do you do this to make sure that you can have your own pick of girls at school. I'm not dumb Julian I know how boys are and I know I am not their definition of beautiful so don't humor me."

I stared him down until his cheeks turned even brighter red than before then I looked at my worksheet and started to do it again.

"You're wrong..." he whispered.

"What are you..." I said before he cut me off.

"Who's to say I can't think you're beautiful. Who's to say I can't say that I like how you pretend not to give a damn about anyone or anything. I've only known you for 20 minutes and I know that you can't really be how you pretend to be. Honestly I don't even really know you but right now I know I want to. I wanna know what makes you tick and your favorite color and the reason why you blush so damn much. Shit Jazzy I want to be your friend. So don't push me away... Don't turn away from me before you even get to know me."

I looked up from my worksheet and stared into Julian's eyes. They were sparkling with wonder and curiosity. He wasn't lying.

We spent the rest of the class talking about the randomest of things. He told me about soccer and his love of it. I told him about my knack for getting into trouble. We bonded so easily. When the bell rang I didn't want to leave and I could tell he didn't want to either.

I grabbed his schedule while we walked to his next class. We had every single class together except for advisory.

I showed him where everything was. The day went by fast with both of us learning more and more about each other.

I was intrigued. He seemed to have live such an amazing life. His dad was in the military and instead of his family being split up they just move along with him. I told him about my family a little bit I know he could tell I was holding back. It was nice to talk to someone new about everything in my life.

Right before advisory I showed Julian to his class. Before I left he grabbed my hand.

"Jazzy I know it's only been a day and this is going to sound so weird but can we stay like this maybe even become closer. I feel like we would be good together. Like we don't have to go out right now but I don't want you to be with anyone else."

He stared at me.

My hand was tingling inside of his. The butterflies were swarming in my stomach and pretty soon they were going to take flight.

"But why me."

"The moment you looked at me I just knew I had to try..."

I squeezed his hand and intertwined his fingers into mine.

"There's no shame in trying right."

He squeezed my hand back and we slowly let go.

I walked to advisory happier than ever. Maybe Mr. Gonzales wasn't meant to be my love after all.