secret wardrobe of the duchess
He gently stroked her hair. Her skin was already so cold that it hardly felt like a human’s, but her hair felt just like before. How would her thin hair change when going back in time?
“You must be happy.”
He whispered to her ear, trying to steady his breath.
“Get everything you want. What you want to wear, what you want to eat, what you want to do.”
He was a smart man with a genius brain, and he had never been called foolish. But still, he was stupid.
Even if he traveled back in time, he would make weapons for killing while just giving up Stella.
But her… he knew she would be able to bring a different ending. Making soap as she wanted had already saved countless lives.
He had learned a person’s wisdom couldn’t be measured by knowledge in one’s head after he met her. She wouldn’t give up on the man who knew only his own misfortune and, instead, she would fix him.
But… he wouldn’t get to meet her, love her, and be happy. He had been a terrible man in his past, even to his own eyes. Surely, she would despise him.
‘But it’s okay.’
Nevertheless, it didn’t matter, if only she was happy. What would happen to him, it didn’t matter. He rather hoped she would use him for her happiness.
He could feel his breath getting weaker. As he had been living in darkness for years already, he didn’t get that sudden visit from the darkness. No flashbacks either.
His body temperature started to fall quickly, and her body in his arms didn’t feel cold anymore.
-Son of my daughter.
At the borderline of life and death, he heard the god’s voice.
-You have given the chance to live another life to the person you love. As you have given up life for love, you are now worthy to become Hue’s nymph and live an eternal life.
His world became brighter in a second, so he quickly checked on her. He could feel her weight on his arms, but he couldn’t see anything. He sighed, not caring that now he had a god talking to him.
-Come to your kind’s island with me.
Anyone else would have been delighted by the god’s visit and would have agreed to go, but he wasn’t like that. He looked around in doubt. It was just white and bright, but he couldn’t see the god himself.
“What happens to her if I go to that island?”
-As your mother’s curse has been broken, the ring lost its magic. She will die.
He had been right to ask. As his nurse had said, there was only a small difference between a curse and a blessing. Lose her and become a nymph to live eternal life? That wasn’t a blessing. It was the most horrible curse in the world.
“I don’t want it.”
-You don’t want it? You will live eternally in peace if you go to the nymphs’ island. You will be given a sacred power no man will ever get.
“So what? None of it matters to me. I don’t want to be a nymph, so revive Rubica.”
-Once you are a nymph, you will forget all of your sorrows. Do you really wish to give up your opportunity to live eternal life?
“What’s good with eternal life? I don’t want to live forever without her.”
Silence. What was the god thinking? Did he find a man who dared to defy him amusing? However, Edgar didn’t care. He was scolding the god’s appearance and offer since even gods couldn’t mess up with certain things.
He glared at the god although he didn’t even know where he was.
-I will not take you there if you don’t want to. Instead, for passing the test to become a Hue’s nymph, I will grant three wishes of yours.
“Let me travel back in time with her.”
He didn’t have to think much to decide on his first wish.
-No, that is a wish I cannot grant you.
“Why is that?”
-Then you wouldn’t be giving your chance for life to her. I cannot grant that wish.
Edgar frowned hard. Why did this god of love have so many conditions and restrictions? But still, he wasn’t wrong.
“Before I say my wishes, I want to know something. Did she hear what I said before she died?”
He had checked it from her smile, but he was still worried. As the god had given him three chances, he thought it would be better to utilize them. He was a practical man, after all.
-No.
“What?”
-Her ears had been hurt by the sound of the bombing, she couldn’t hear.
Edgar was now really enraged.
“Can’t you change even that?”
-I’m just the god of love, that is beyond my powers.
Edgar gritted his teeth and wished he could punch the god’s face if only he could. If he hadn’t been the god who had saved Rubica from despair and gave her will to live on, he would have been blaspheming a lot by now.
‘Calm down, calm down.’
Anyway, it was a good thing that now he knew she hadn’t heard what he said. He wasn’t an idiot who would miss such an opportunity.
“I want a pen and paper.”
As soon as he said that, there was a pen in his right hand and paper in his left hand. He had just used one of the three wishes. Now he had only two left. He had to use them well.
Who should he send a message to? He thought about writing to Rubica what he had just told her, but at the age of 22, she had been treated like a maid. She couldn’t own anything. The message might not be delivered to her.
‘As that stupid god lacks care, it can happen. I must be careful.’
Even now, he could remember every detail about his study, like which object had been stationed where. It would be better to send a message to himself in the past. First, he wrote down her name. Rubica Berner.
“Please replace the ring in the first drawer of my study’s table with this.” Then, after a little thinking, he added, “About a week before she arrives in the past.”
He had to be careful, or the god could put the note in there while he was being abducted. He made specific requests to make sure it was delivered at the right time.
-Okay. Then, what about the ring?
“Let her go back in time with it.”
He gulped hard, hoping the god would fall to his trick and count the two wishes as one.
-A holy relic cannot exist in two versions at the same time anyway, very well.
The note on Edgar’s hand disappeared. Actually, he wanted to wish their love would be made whole in the past. However, he didn’t want their love to become just a wish granted by a god.
Winning her heart with magic would be meaningless. Rubica had her own life and thoughts. Even if the god had suggested it first, he would have said no.
Moreover, sending the note to himself had been the right choice. Rubica had been a lowly noble in the countryside, and it was going to be hard for her to meet Duke Claymore. It would be better for him to make the move himself.
Actually, he wanted to write other things than just her name on that note. However… did he really deserve to? He knew she had had at least some feelings for him.
Nevertheless, he didn’t deserve her. He was a horrible man. He was a horrible man now, but he had been even worse in the past. Such an arrogant man wasn’t right for Rubica as she deserved a nicer and kinder man. She had to have someone she wanted to be together with when she went back in time.
The note only had her name, but he would be able to make enough deductions. He believed he would find her, ask what had happened, and take the right measures.
He didn’t know he would start by proposing to her when he found her. The past always looks better when looked back, and one’s flaws tend to become faint in memories.
-Now, your last wish.
He had already decided on his last wish and calmly said, “I wish to see her before I die.”
All he knew about her was how warm her hands had been and how cheerful her voice had been. He had touched her face, but that wasn’t enough. He wanted to see her, for the first and the last time.
-Very well.
With that, the shining world slowly collapsed and went back to the battlefield they had been. Edgar saw her in his arms. She was sleeping beautifully like she would wake up at any moment if he called her name. She was smiling faintly. She looked happy. She had found joy in her cruel life, to its very end.
“You are…”
White hair, wrinkled face, dried lips. Her face was covered in mud and blood.
“Beautiful, Rubica. You are beautiful.”
The old woman in ragged clothes was much more beautiful than young ladies wearing shining dresses with gems under the brilliant chandelier.
When they came to him with smiles, he had only wished to run away. However, she was lovely. More beautiful than anyone he had known.