the big v wattys2016
Blog #21:
My night with Nick was crazy and I honestly think I was just in a bad head space. Although I do have to say that the feelings were real. I just don't know if it were love or lust, but that was a week ago and I'm still not returning Ricky's calls or texts.
Not only was he blocked on all social media but he continues to send messages through LaLa who's clearly Team Ricky. She knows about the Nick situation and pointed out that it was messy because she's close to both of them and they're supposed to be friends. I guess she was right, but none of that mattered now because I'm finally in a position where I don't want to cry or scream every time I hear Ricky's name.
I took LaLa's advice last night and decided to return his calls from her phone (since he was still blocked on mine). There was nothing to explain but I was doing it for me. I needed closure. He answered as the first ring faded and asked how I been and how were my grades and work.
B: "They're fine. You keep making LaLa your little messenger. What do you want?"
Ricky: "I think you know what's going on and I really just want a chance to explain myself. I know I hurt you but I wanna meet up with you, like old times."
B: "I don't know about that. I don't even want to see you."
Ricky: "Can you please just hear me out? I know you've done a lot for me but I just wanna prove to you I'm really down for you. Can we go out to eat tomorrow night? Please?" he asked. He was really pressed to see me and I figured since I was never getting back with his lying ass, I had nothing to lose.
B: "What time?"
Ricky: "Eight."
B: "Okay."
Ricky: "B?"
B: "Yeah?" I asked annoyed.
Ricky: "I love you."
I hung up the phone and handed it to LaLa, who was listening to the conversation since he was on speaker. She made a face.
LaLa: "You okay?"
B: "I'm good. I think it'd be good to go. For closure."
LaLa: "I agree. You gonna tell him about Nick?"
B: "Why does he need to know? We no longer in a relationship."
LaLa: "Right but he dap him up and smile in his face every time he walk in the crib or before they go on the field. You don't think he should
know?"
B: "He and Vanessa didn't think I should've known. He lied to my face. I'm tired of caring more than he does."
LaLa: "It's okay to still care. I commend you, though. It's sad too because I know he a good guy. I think it'd be good for the both of yall to have this conversation."
B: "You know, I don't even know what Nick and I are right now. We just vibin' and I like it. I feel good knowing somebody down for me and that he shows me- in public or not."
LaLa: "I want yall to see where this goes, but I'm just warning you. Again- it's messy. They play on the same team and live together."
I took her words into consideration as my head hit the pillow. I tossed and turned, eager to see how tomorrow's day would play out. Ricky was humble and low key. He never was pressed for females. Nick was cocky and a ladies man. He lives to chase and get what he wants.
Even if Ricky genuinely loved me, cheating was a mistake I wasn't forgiving. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I have no more trust in him.
None.
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I waited at the table of the crowded and busy Applebee's. I didn't like their food much but it was Ricky's favorite, so I just went along. I took a sip of my second margarita, which was now half way full.
I flipped my hair over my shoulder and did last minute checks, pulling out my mini mirror to make sure everything was good. I wasn't fucking with Ricky ever again, but I wanted him to see me and miss what he had. See me and regret what he did. See me walking away, staring at my ass and wishing it was his, again.
I checked my gold Michael Kors watch growing impatient, when a late and sexy Ricky took his seat across from me. He had on a white Polo shirt, some jeans and his Air Forces that complimented his white and gold watch.
We awkwardly stared at each other for at least 10 seconds, and I was starting to think this was a bad idea. All I wanted to do was jump across the table and dry hump him. I took a sip of my drink, washing the thoughts away.
Ricky: "Sorry I'm late, B. Traffic."
B: "It's fine." I said smiling.
Ricky: "What you ordering?"
B: "Nothing. I don't plan on staying long." I said with a smile still on my face. He rubbed his hands together and broke eye contact before looking at his feet.
Ricky: "I'm sorry."
B: "About which thing? Cheating, lying or fucking me... after lying?"
Ricky: "Chill. I did all that to avoid losing you."
B: "Actually, you picked the best way possible to lose me."
Ricky: "Please just hear me out." I took a sip of my drink. "It was Wednesday and I got fucked up after you left my crib. I popped a perk and started drinking. I was vulnerable."
B: "You blaming your cheating on the pills and alcohol?" He started tearing up, dragging his hands down his face.
Ricky: "It was the 1 year anniversary of my grandma's death. October 1st. I was so fucked up I could barely walk, B. Vanessa came by looking for you and I told her she had just missed you by an hour or so. She said she had weed and we rolled up on the living room couch. I barely remember anything. I guess one thing led to another and before I knew it, I woke up to her big ass laying next to me. I really was out of it, B. I'm sorry."
I walked to the other side of the table and hugged him. He hugged me back. His warm embrace sent shocks down my spine as he cried on my shoulder. I liked being that one he falls back on, tells all his troubles to. But I'm not a doormat.
We hugged it out until the waitress rudely interrupted. I made a face and she got the idea, walking away hurriedly. He grabbed a napkin and started wiping his tears. I crossed back over to my side of the table, handing him more napkins.
Ricky: "I really am sorry, B."
B: "Me, too."
Ricky: "Do you forgive me?"
B: "I forgive you." I responded with a subtle smile.
Ricky: "Good, I was hoping I wasn't gonna get a black eye like Vanessa."
B: "You heard about that?" I asked laughing, with my elbows on the table.
Ricky: "Heard you fucked her up."
B: "Of course."
Ricky: "So where does this leave us?"
B: "We can work our way to being friends."
Ricky: "I thought you forgave me." he said normally.
B: "I do, but I don't trust you."
Ricky: "I understand. You talk to anybody?"
B: "Somebody." he cocked his head and made a face.
Ricky: "I know him?" he asked, acting tough. I didn't answer him. "Describe him."
B: "He's a real winner." I said with a smirk.
Ricky: "What's that supposed to mean?"
B: "It means what it sounds like." I rolled my eyes.
Ricky: "You fuckin him?!"
B: "Lower your voice. You not my boyfriend anymore. I don't have to answer your questions, and the sooner you stop worrying about me, the better."
Ricky: "That's how you feel?"
B: "Clearly."
Ricky: "When I find out who he is, we mixin. Whenever, wherever."
B: "You not tough!" I said laughing.
Ricky: "For you I am."
B: "Ard this conversation over."
Ricky: "You need a ride home? I can tell you tipsy."
B: "No thanks, I'll call an Uber."
Ricky: "That's actually how I got here. My car acting up. How about I drive you home in your car and catch an Uber from ya crib?"
I didn't want my car to stay at Applebee's and get towed or some shit, so I excepted his offer. He walked me to my car as I stumbled every 5 steps in my Louis Vuitton pumps. I gave him the keys and got in the passenger's seat. He put the key in the ignition as I took off my heels.
Not even half way there he was referring to us as a "we", and not as individuals. It wasn't long before he tried to be slick and slide his hands in my jeans.
B: "What are you doing?" I asked. He unzipped my jeans.
Ricky: "Showing you what you know you gonna miss. One last time." he said, sliding his hands in my pink Victoria Secret panties.
B: "I- I don't want you to." I said covering my
mouth. I closed my eyes as he slid a finger in and my heartbeat sped up.
Ricky: "Then why you not stopping me?"
He was still fingering me until we got a block away from the house, parking the car. He laughed, waiting until my juices flooded all over his fingers. He pulled his hand from my panties and put his wet fingers in my mouth.
Ricky: "How about we get in the backseat."
B: "How about not. Drive me home." I said, pulling my pants back up.
Ricky: "I wanna taste you one last time. Don't worry, we'll still be friends after." He smiled, condescendingly.
It started drizzling when I climbed in the back and he blasted the radio with the remix of, Or Nah by the Weeknd playing. Nick and I weren't together and I realized it was lust, not love. There was still no denying we had something, but I was horny and Ricky was convenient.
Do you like the way I flick my tongue or nah?
You can ride my face until you dripping cum.
Can you lick the tip then throat the dick, or nah?
Can you let me stretch that pussy out or nah?
My panties and jeans were on the backseat floor while he was already in my pussy, putting in work. He licked slower and harder than ever before, like his life depended on it.
Prolly got a lot of other bitches owe you favors.
Pussy so good had to save that shit for later.
Took her to the kitchen fucked her right there on the table.
Not only was he sucking me dry but as my heart raced faster and I tried harder and harder to catch my breath, the rain sped up in pace.
The song really got me in my bag and I knew I was about to cum again. The rain smacked the windows harder and I started shoving his head, shaking and shivering. I rotated my tips to the tune of his tongue- I was almost there.
Girl, make that ass clap for young dollar sign.
You already know my money go a long time.
I could slide for it, like Nelly.
I'm a go as far as you let me.
Girl, is you sucking me or fucking me or nah?
He slipped in a finger and I told myself to hold it a little longer.
Keep saying you's a freak you gone prove it, or nah? His bitch keep looking at me she choosing or nah?
You a ride-or-die chick, you all-in or nah?
I hollered and lost my breath, trying to detach his mouth from in between my legs. I squirted all over his face and the back seat, and he still didn't let go.
I screamed when he finally released his tongue from my clit, sending shock waves through my body every time he tried to touch me.
He really went all out that time. It was the best orgasm I ever had and now I definitely didn't want to leave him.
I sat in the back frozen with my panties still off, just trying to catch my breath. I was speechless. I think he knew he wasn't getting anything and rode around to the Alpha Delta house. I regained my composure, put my panties and jeans back on and carried my heels in my hands before checking to make sure I had anything.
Still in the backseat, Ricky stared at me like he accomplished something. I really was going to miss, us. But now we were B and Ricky, and that was it. I braced myself for running in the rain to get to the front door, before turning my eyes in Ricky's direction.
"That won't happen again." I said. I ran to the front door which was unlocked, thankfully. Within a half hour he locked my car doors, put my keys in the mailbox and caught an Uber home.
As far as I was concerned, that never happened.
Do you think B's wrong for letting Ricky give her head again? And was LaLa right- is it messy to mess with two friends? Comment, vote, you know the deal 💁🏾 Lastly, what did you find most interesting? Thanks 💐